How We Run Our Own Business, Have 3 Kids Under 5, And Still Like Each Other!

Posted by Hayley Gowen on

Hello, Baby FirePit Friends!

You haven't heard from me (Hayley) much this past year because I've been busy with my 3 little goobers.  Two loving, rambunctious, dirt-covered boys--one of them a toddler, currently in the glorious season of potty training--and a highly sensitive, utterly joyful, but very determined one-year-old girl have been my full time job. 


BUT--somehow the wheels of have time have turned to a moment in life when it seems right for me to dip a toe back into our business.  And so, know that I'm here behind the scenes doing organizational, computery, administrative things, but also making an attempt to connect with you through this blog.

I'm going to put it out there right away that while I the title of this post explains that Kyle and I 1.) have our own business, 2.) have a small gaggle of children, and 3.) have a happy marriage, I want to insert the disclaimer that we don't have it all figured out

Like, not by a long shot.  

And everything we have accomplished came by hard work.  Literal blood, sweat, and tears.

But, in this brief introduction to who Kyle and I actually are--more than just our product--I wanted to leave you with a few tidbits of things we've learned and are learning through these adventure of entrepreneurship, parenthood, and marriage.

And so, without further ado:

FIRST AND FOREMOST: We have learned (are learning) the importance of PATIENCE.

If patience was a muscle, mine would always be sore.  Because it gets worked out.  (Mmmm I'm going to reread that later and cringe.)

There seem to be infinite opportunities daily for both of us to practice this virtue.  Every day we work to be patient with each other--because we see the world just a little bit differently.  Sometimes drastically differently.

We've had to practice listening--really listening--to the people around us.  And not just to the words, but to the heart behind the words.  This takes loads of patience, as anyone who's had a real relationship with anyone knows.

We've worked on patiently accepting that people (including the three small people who live with us) will continually do things we wish they wouldn't and for the life of us don't understand.  (Like why would anyone stuff sand in their ears?  Just...why?)

And the list could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.  Patience is key. 

We (mostly) view FAILURE as a necessary step towards growth.  

Kyle is much better at this than me.  

Not at the failing part--ha, sorry babe--the understanding the point of failing part.  Because we've failed at lot in this business, in our family, with each other.  Dare I say we've failed every. single. day.? 

It's going to happen.  Every time you put yourself out there and try, or step up and do something scary, your chances to fail increase exponentially.  

But, once you have failed, you get to say (as Albert Einstein did), "now I know yet another way this _____ won't work".  Good.  Check.  Cross it off the list and move on with your new knowledge.  

(The Type A Perfectionist in me is getting all riled up even now.  Mistakes?!  *Gasp*  But I said what I said.)

FINALLY: We prioritize our MARRIAGE. 

Like any committed relationship, our marriage has been through its ups and downs.  And some of these downs we've leaned into each other and made it through together.  But in others we turned away from each other and felt deeply alone as we struggled to find our way.  (Failure!  See point above.)

These are a couple of the things we've learned about staying united rather than drifting apart when the waves start hitting hard and fast

  • We are partners.  We have learned that one person cannot carry both loads.  Sometimes one partner will carry the heavier burden for a while, but the weight must be distributed at some point.  Emotionally, mentally, we must figure out what it is that weighs our partner down and try to help.  And, on the other hand, we need to figure out what weighs us down and make sure we're not unfairly heaping this weight on our partner.
  • We make lots of effort to talk.  And talk.  And talk some more.  We work to make sure we're really communicating about the things that matter.
  • We try to enjoy each other.  This means we try to have some fun together.  We try to let the little things roll off.  We try to make each other laugh--just fyi, Kyle is very good at this.  And we try to have regular date nights!  (Utterly shameless plug here--we actually use our Baby Fire Pits.  My favorite date nights of 2020 consisted only of our Pit, a few beers, and our back porch.  So much good conversation happens on warm nights outside with a little fire--it's not just for summer camp or summer vacations!)


(Our backyard--we don't always do a fancy set-up, but when we do, we make it a little extra.)

And that's it.  For now.  I would love to hear from you--just to chat or to answer questions!

All the best, Hayley


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